RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
