yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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