eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
