I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
