And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
