Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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