There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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