How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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