I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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