I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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