Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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