Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
