spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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