big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just gargled with NyQuil
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
