My brain says no but my pants say off.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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