Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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