Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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