he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
soo... how was my night?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
