I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
