Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
