Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
