halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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