My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
