She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Randomize
