Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
