i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
