I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
