yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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