Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
