I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
