playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
