is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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