Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
