omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
