i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
