god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
