when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
