His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
