Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
