I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
