A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize