I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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