When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
