Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
