ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
