he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
