Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
