We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
