His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
