I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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