I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
