found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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