HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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